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If you do something you enjoy
long enough
eventually someone will come along
and offer you money
to stop enjoying it
so they can take it away
from you
and break it into little pieces
because this is what makes them happy.

Choose wisely.

--Dallas Clayton

• 17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
• 34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
• 37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
• 49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
• 51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less
• people-oriented position.
• 53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!", I will say "Oh well" and kill her.
• 61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
• 64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
• 84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
• 92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
• 100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

--The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord

   (2)  No matter how hard you push and no matter what the priority,
        you can't increase the speed of light.

        (2a) (corollary). No matter how hard you try, you can't make a
             baby in much less than 9 months. Trying to speed this up
             *might* make it slower, but it won't make it happen any
             quicker.

--RFC 1925 - The Twelve Networking Truths

1. leaders
2. followers
4. lawyers
10. women who try to be alpha males
22. MBAs
24. conformists
25. nonconformists
35. investment bankers
36. old-money snobs
37. new-money snobs
44. negotiators
60. the values instilled by video games (if it gets in your way, nuke it)
61. thinking about a future society run by people nurtured on video games
68. the proliferation of websites featuring naked people exchanging bodily fluids
69. the fact that those websites are more popular than yours or mine
71. losing half our free time to internet addiction
72. losing most of our day to meaningless work
73. having to play office politics
74. having to play golf with your superiors
83. "It's not what you know, it's who you know"
84. the "power words" used on resumes to impress employers
85. the fact that employers are impressed with power words on resumes
90. staying at a job you detest because the alternatives are even worse
93. executive bonuses that exceed your annual salary
103. watching everyone but you rise to the level of their incompetence
104. the annual incomes of CEOs
105. the writing ability of CEOs
113. downsizing profitable companies for the sole purpose of wooing investors
114. the fact that investors reward companies for downsizing
115. the fact that companies now exist primarily to woo investors
116. bonuses and stock options for executives who "trimmed the fat"
117. diet plans -- all 2,178 of them
136. yuppie parents jockeying to get their child into a prestigious nursery school
154. saying "yes" so we don't hurt the poor underpaid telemarketing agent's feelings
175. divorce settlements (both spouses lose; both lawyers win)
256. oxymorons like "military intelligence" and "corporate culture"
276. wealth without taste
277. taste without wealth
300. buying things on sale: spending money to save money
305. the ugly, insanely popular, hard-to-obtain toys that parents must buy to appease their children
306. the fact that parents NEED to appease their own children
309. the licensing of dead celebrities
310. people who gain an identity by wearing t-shirts with commercial logos
328. the fact that the entire economy of the free world is in the hands of gamblers
333. Wall Street, the world's biggest casino
344. excuses
351. "all men are created equal"
445. psychoanalysts who keep their patients coming back for 20 years
446. patients who still hope for a cure after being psychoanalyzed for 20 years
447. group therapy: a less expensive cure that doesn't work
448. electroshock therapy: a quicker cure that doesn't work
449. finally going crazy
450. psychiatrists who are crazier than their patients
456. the fact that there wouldn't be so many self-help books if any of them worked
494. peer pressure (ask any lemming)
519. the fact that the easiest way to succeed is to give motivational seminars
596. the inventiveness of women's excuses for saying no
597. the inventiveness of men's arguments for persuading a woman to say yes
647. corporate earnings forecasts
656. staying single because you think the other option is even worse
711. realizing that all the wise men, philosophers and self-help authors were clueless, too
712. knowing that the world is going to fall apart eventually
713. not caring if the world falls apart
714. "whatever"

--Rick Bayan

--Timothy Leary - The Seven Tongues of God

--Tomáš Hajzler - Snaž se to daleko dotáhnout! vs. Dělej, co miluješ!